Wow. Have you heard the story of Ian and Larissa Murphy? These two demonstrate unconditional love in marriage. When Ian’s brain was damaged in a life-altering automobile accident, his then-girlfriend, Larissa, didn’t give up. Watch their update here:
[vimeo 88485530 w=500 h=281]
If you are interested to read their book or learn more about their story, visit their website here.
Happy belated Valentine’s Day! Although we’ve been a little quiet around here for awhile, we’re getting some posts written to give you some updates. In the meanwhile, here’s an excellent video worth watching for single, dating, engaged, and married alike.
Come and join us for a Beautiful Bricklayers’ Winter Workshop!
Date: Saturday, December 28, 2013
Time: 9AM-noon
Place: 2700 Amalfi, Newport Beach, Ca 92660
We’ll be discussing principles of becoming “hot and holy” women of purpose, prayer, partnership, and preparation.
You’ll be equipped to start preparing now for a godly marriage, regardless of current relationship status. If you are single, dating, or engaged, join us as we grow in our understanding of what it means to lay a foundation for a Kingdom-building future.
Already a Bricklayer? Join us for a refresher seminar and receive a discounted rate ($10 not $25 if you have already gone through a previous class)!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyBJdhqtGUY&w=560&h=315]Invite your friends!!
Cost: $25 for new participants (includes materials and light refreshments).$10 for Bricklayers Class alumna who already have a workbook
Partial scholarships are available.
RSVP: email Cassie: bricklayersleadership@gmail.com or use the form below.
In order to save your spot, write a check made out to “Cassie Robertson” and mail it to:
Cassie Robertson 2620 Johnson Ave. La Habra, Ca 90631
Are you grateful for your dear friends? Don’t you appreciate those who stand by you to cheer you on to carry out a vision that seems daunting? Well, I sure am grateful for this very special woman we are featuring this month! Dani Taylor served behind the scenes for over a year and a half with the leadership team. She hosted events in her home, spent hours at meetings, donated goods, woke up early to meet with me at a coffee shop before she headed off to work (many times!), and prayed over this ministry. So much of what Beautiful Bricklayers is today has been directly impacted by Dani’s dedication and service.
Here’s a little glimpse into the lovely heart of this very precious sister in Christ, Dani Taylor:
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I’m 27 and I LOVE Bricklayers! I’m really close with my family and I love spending time with them; they are a super funny group of people and I love laughing with them. I’m really into healthy living – home remedies, cooking, working out, conscious living, etc. I love the ocean and all the animals in it!
This month’s theme is “Gratitude” and you are a person with a very thankful heart. Would you share some of the ways you have been intentional to foster thankfulness in your life?
I think one way that I try to foster thankfulness is by constantly acknowledging all that the Lord has done for me and the ways in which he has blessed my life. If I have a hard day at work, the first thing I do when I get in the car to drive home is list things I am I am thankful for. I never want to do it – it’s so much easier to let the bitterness fester and to claim that I had a bad day at work and get sympathy from others (which I still do, no one is perfect :-). But, I find that as soon as I start listing what I’m thankful for, everything comes into perspective and my heart is filled with gratitude and praise and then that doesn’t leave any room for bitterness, anger, discontentment, or envy!
Picture perfect with her family!
What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve experienced in trying to maintain contentment?
This one is very hard, I feel like this is an area where I often feel a lot of spiritual attack: staying close to the Lord and believing his Word is what keeps my head above the water. It’s so easy to listen to the world’s lies and think, for example, that I should be married by now and have achieved a certain level at work. I find social media really stirs up discontentment in me, so I try my best to stay away from it. The moment I remember that I am not in control and that the Lord is in charge of my life, I can relax and give everything over to him. It’s funny because it’s so hard to let go of control, but as soon as I do it, I can relax and know that I am fully taken care of and looked after. He can take care of me far better than I could ever take care of myself!
Do you have a passage in Scripture that has served as an anchor to your soul to keep you grounded during particularly difficult seasons in your life?
Yes! I memorized Psalm 42:11 (NLT) which says: “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again – my Savior and my God.” This has been such an encouraging verse for me. It allows me to acknowledge my feelings of sadness and discouragement but to remember that my hope is in the Lord and I should praise Him through every season of life!
Dani loves her Grandpa!
In your singleness, what has the Lord been teaching you that you would like to share with other women?
To wait on Him and to use this season of life when I have extra time and devote it to the Lord – to spending time with Him, reading the Word, and memorizing scriptures. Life is only going to get more busy and hectic from here on out and I want to know that my life is (and always will be) rooted in the Lord and His truth.
How have you been able to “rejoice with those who rejoice” when you yourself would love to have that same kind of rejoicing in your own life?
This is the one area that I feel the Lord has given me His strength. I so badly want for my friends to be in relationships and I feel such joy and happiness for them when this happens! It also gives me hope, if it can happen for them, it can certainly happen for me! It’s also a way that I can see the Lord answering the prayers that I’ve prayed for my friends and their future husbands. I think it has also helped that both my sisters have been in serious relationships for the past few years; to see them so happy makes me realize I would never want to deprive anyone of that joy!
What advice or words of wisdom do you have to share with other Beautiful Bricklayers as they navigate singleness and dating relationships?
Trust in the Lord and know that He is good! Draw near to Him and let Him take care of the rest!
***Would you like to nominate a girlfriend of yours to be interviewed for the Beautiful Bricklayers monthly spotlight?
Please email us at: beautifulbricklayers@gmail.com with the girl’s name and reason why you think she should be featured on our blog.***
Many of you follow us on our Facebook Page and, this month, we wanted to give you a peak into the life of our main contributor to that Page. She is indeed a Beautiful Bricklayers herself: Amanda Pinedo.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I am 24 and living in Huntington Beach, where I am finishing up my Masters in Social Work at USC. I have a passion for helping people and am so excited to be able to finally start my career as a medical social worker soon! I am a pretty simple girl who loves good music, warm drinks, and good conversation with friends. God has really blessed my life even with its ups and downs, and I am so thankful for his patience and love for me.
Being that this month’s theme is “Falling in Love” how did you first fall in love with Jesus?
Growing up attending Christian school since I was 5 years old made it easy to learn about Jesus and accept Him into my heart at a very young age. However, when I was in high school, I finally began to understand what loving Jesus really looked like. It was then that I was baptized and really tried to learn how to be a better follower of Him. My undergrad at Vanguard University also really blessed me with an environment to be poured into and challenged in my faith. It was at Rock Harbor Church in Costa Mesa that God really stole my heart. Because of my upbringing and experiences of instability and chaos growing up, it has been a process for me to learn how God could love someone like me and to understand that someone could take care of me. Falling in love with Jesus is something I believe we never stop doing and knowing that He loves us through it all, is something I believe is the perfect model of what kind of love God wants for us.
You are currently in a dating relationship. Would you share more about how you met and what made you want to start dating your boyfriend?
Even though it sounds cliche, Max and I met at a mutual friends wedding when we first noticed one another across the room. However, it was not until almost half a year later that we met at Rock Harbor after Max had returned from Ireland where he was helping to start a church. The “dating” phase of our relationship was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. I had been use to guys leading relationships in a very quick pace or not leading the relationship at all.
The way that Max led our relationship was nerve-racking but so refreshing to experience. He prayerfully spent time asking God about our next steps, he took the time to really get to know me, and when the time was right expressed his intentions for moving our relationship forward. His love for God, his passion for others, and his character are some of the biggest reasons I found for wanting to open my heart to him. I honestly did not think guys like him existed. I always figured that I would have to settle in my love life, but God had more for his daughter: a love bigger than I could imagine. Max is pretty funny too… always a plus. 🙂
What are some helpful boundaries, physical and emotional, that you two have established for a healthy, God-honoring relationship?
Since the beginning of our relationship, Max and I have communicated our intentions for the physical boundaries we wanted to stay strong in and the beautiful things we wanted to look forward to in a potential marriage one day. We knew that although kissing is fun, we had to be careful that we did not fall into the slippery slope of passion. We also knew that sleeping in the same bed overnight would be another boundary we would never want to compromise in our relationship. And although these boundaries have been hard and many friends and family have not understood them, we continue to believe in our hearts that it’s what God wants for us in our relationship. Emotionally, we have continued to have open communication with our past experiences in relationships and have had discussions with each other about our families and upbringings. So much of your past will follow you into your present and future. We knew that if we didn’t stay honest, we couldn’t move forward and build a relationship with a strong spiritual and emotional foundation.
When friends or acquaintances think you are being “too strict” what do you tell them? Do you have any stories to share?
A lot of our friends have not understood our physical boundaries at times, especially when we have planned trips with other couples. I honestly think we have even been left out of trips because of friends not wanting to have to plan around the boundaries we have. However, we never compromised our intentions and even with family have had to make conscious decisions to stay true to what we believe.
How has dating helped you to grow as a woman and in your relationship with God and others?
Dating Max has honestly pushed me to newer levels in my relationship with God. I had dated guys before Max that never pushed me to be a better woman of God. They were Christian but they weren’t walking with God the way I believe He calls us to be. I have grown in so many ways in dating Max and seeing His love for God makes me want to love him and God more in so many ways. God’s Word states that His two most important commandments are to love God and to love one another, and in my relationship with Max I have felt we are able to experience those commandments together. Through reading our Bibles daily, praying together, doing a devotional together, serving together, tithing together, and more, God has pushed my heart for Him to a whole new level.
If you could list out a few practical tips to help the Beautiful Bricklayers community in their pre-dating and dating seasons, what would you share?
If I could give any advice to those praying for Mr. Bricklayer, there are a few things I would encourage:
1) Never settle for a man that is not in LOVE with God
2) Seek God in your love life always, be patient, and trust that He wants the best for you
3) Be open in your communication with a potential partner (Be honest with who you are and what you need in a partner)
4) Take the time to do some inner work in you before you start dating. If you don’t know God and yourself and love God and yourself, how can you love someone else.
Every month we have a friendly reminder that we were created female. Our menstrual cycle is obviously much more than just an inconvenience to manage. It’s an indication that we are, one day, likely going to be able to carry a new little life inside. Start thinking about your fertility now – even if you are single and not even dating anyone.
I remember being in a mentorship group of women who gathered every month to learn about different aspects of what it meant to be a woman. One of the questions we came upon was about birth control and determining which methods were healthy and honoring to God. Most of us in that group twenty-somethings were 100% single at the time, but we were determined to learn more about a subject we had hardly ever heard about from our Christian leaders.
Through research in books and online, I have come to the conclusion that using the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) or Natural Family Planning (NFP) is best for me.
To put it very simply: I started tracking my cycles before I got married. More than circling the start and end dates of my period on a calendar (I DO NOT recommend the calendar or rhythm method!!!), I tracked two fertility signs every day. I recorded my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) upon waking and observed my cervical fluid (or mucus) throughout the day. The purpose of tracking these signs helped me to become “body literate” and aware of when I was fertile and when I was not.
In marriage, my husband adopted the role of “NFP record taker” so that he is involved and aware of what’s happening in my body. It’s been a wonderfully unifying experience and we don’t have to worry about unwelcome side effects that can happen when taking “the pill”. There are many articles and papers written about the oral contraceptive controversy, but you can look in to that further for yourself.
Both books pictured above are books that were helpful for me to learn NFP. Many people believe myths that NFP is too difficult, that it is not effective, and that it is unromantic. I have found that although it takes intentionality to learn, it is well worth the effort. It has been extremely effective for us and those who use it conscientiously. Also, it’s been very romantic to have my husband interested and aware of what is going on in my body and I love having a teammate in this sphere.
I have listed below some additional resources that offer helpful information. Be mindful that they are not all “Christian” websites and carry various worldviews. It’s important to read this with a discerning mind.
Women’s Health & Fertility
(disclaimer: Beautiful Bricklayers doesn’t claim to agree with or support everything on these sites. The links are listed for you to peruse and use at your discretion.)
Something that helps me clear my mind and nourish my soul is to keep three special appointments each week: a business meeting, a fun date, and a time to spiritually recharge. This is not my original idea, but I heard it on a Focus on the Family radio broadcast featuring an older couple talking about their secret to a strong, healthy marriage through the years.
Keeping these appointments would be beneficial to everyone at all stages of life: single, dating, engaged, or married! Here’s my version of that older couple’s idea and how try to integrate it into my weekly routine.
Business Meeting: Every Tuesday night, my husband and I have a time to connect about the logistics of our lives. This is a simple version of our agenda: Prayer, Recite out loud our family vision statement, Review: finances, calendar, social and ministry happenings, goals, old and new projects, and we even have a little point system that helps us with motivation (If you are interested, I’ll post a video about our point system below). Prior to our meeting, I update our books, and make a new agenda for the meeting. Yes, I know it sounds totally stale and, well, business-like, but it’s such a freeing thing for us to do in order to stay on the same page and not feel like our lives are out of control. If you are single, this is such a great way to keep short accounts with yourself and your own schedule, goals, and finances. Having your own business meeting is an excellent habit to get into now that will yield great dividends in the long run.
Date Night: Hanging out and having fun probably seems like a “no-brainer” easy thing to do when you are married, dating or engaged, but I want to encourage those of you who are single to have date nights too. When I was single (and was not even getting asked out very often), I would make an effort to get dressed up (heels, makeup, hair, and all) and go to a quaint cafe or oceanside restaurant with my bible and journal and I would call it a God-date. Seriously, I had so much fun and I really felt my worth and my beauty. Even though I usually ordered only a dessert and some tea (I had a tight budget), I engaged with the Lord through the experience. Other times, I would bundle up for a sunset walk along the beach. I listened for the Holy Spirit’s voice to tell me what He thought of me, to confide in me whatever He wanted to say, and I can honestly say that those dates were some of the sweetest ones I’ve
ever had in my life! Just because you don’t have a “significant other” in your life doesn’t mean you don’t get to go on crazy-awesome dates.
Spiritual Recharge: This is a rest time, a Sabbath time, a time to reflect on the last week and get fueled up for another one, but even more than that to enjoy the present. We tend to have either all-day Saturday or Sunday to do this. We block out the day so that we don’t schedule anything that would be draining and we only allow life-giving activities. For us that means: going to church, taking a nap, going for a run or swim, reading a relaxing book, working on a creative project, having friends over for lunch or dinner… you get the idea. The point is: set aside an appointment on your calendar to recharge and reconnect with the Lord. He commands us to take a Sabbath rest, not only because He knows we need it, but because it helps us to remember that He is the One who makes the universe function, not us. We are just not that important (whew, praise God for that!!).
For those of you who are interested to hear more about our weekly points system, here’s a brief summary of what we do:
Recently, I returned from a much needed vacation in Curacao. All week long, I was reminded that God commands us to rest. As we prepare for the autumn season let’s be intentional about incorporating rest into our daily, weekly, and yearly schedules. This video shares more about this concept of rest.
Since we are a community of women, we want to put you, Bricklayers, in the spotlight. Every month we will interview a Bricklayer (either married, single, engaged, or dating) so you can share wisdom and encouragement with one another. This month we interviewed Audrey Milburn: a lovely, radiant woman of God! We hope you enjoy this glimpse into her life.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I grew up in Uganda for 17 years and then worked in Rwanda for a few years, which is where I met my husband. He was out there doing Business As Mission and I was developing children’s ministries in Rwanda. I’ve been married for 2 ½ years and have lived in the U.S. for a little more than that (I came to the States to marry David). I currently am a counselor at a Christian counseling center called CIFT and just recently graduated with my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy. Other than my passion for families, I enjoy reading Sci-Fi books, swimming, interacting with any type of animal, playing tennis, watching Star Trek, and eating fondue.
How did you start dating your husband?
I met David in Rwanda one summer while driving him and another missionary to a missionary conference. I led worship that year, and as I stood up front, I
found myself drawn to this man who worshiped God with such authenticity and pursuit – just like David in the Bible. We spoke a few times during this one-week conference, spent two days talking after that, and then he left to come back to America. We corresponded by email and Skype for about 6 months until he flew me to California so I could meet his family, and we began dating. That began 2 years of long-distance dating, using email, Skype, letters, and phone as our modes of communication.
Being that you are no longer in the season of singleness, but now married, what would you do differently in your single years and what would you do the same?
I would have memorized Scripture more and been on my knees more, praying for the man who would eventually come into my life. I also would have journaled more and recorded my spiritual and emotional journey with God. What I would keep the same: stay intentional with my girlfriends in singlehood, let the Lord- not the world- define relationships, and develop disciplines in my life (time for God, exercise, ministry, friends, sleep, etc.).
How did your girlfriends support you in singleness and now in marriage?How do you stay intentional in your friendships?
Some of the best experiences I had were in Bible Study groups or small groups
with women. These were places where we could share struggles, fears, prayer requests, and praises, and really lift each other up. This also solidified in me the desire to wait for God’s best and to not water down the standards I knew God wanted for me in a husband. Some of my favorite single times were in working out with a friend at the gym and talking about life, disappointments, and relationships. Now, in the U.S., friendships take a lot more intentionality, especially since I’m married. Friendships now take more courage and purpose in seeking out people at church, Life Group, or social circles that I desire to get to know better. I cut back an hour or two of work, or a workout, or an extra hour of sleep to be intentional in friendship.
When do you feel closest to God (activity, place, interaction, etc)?
I feel closest to God when I’m serving others (I’m an extrovert, by the way) or when I’m spending time with Him in nature. I also have had some of the most intimate moments with God while driving my car and talking (or crying) to him out loud. So turn off those radios, roll up your windows, and pour out your hearts to God while you’re on your way somewhere!
What has your friendship with God taught you how to be a friend to the girls and the special man in your life?
The most important thing: I can’t just talk – I need to listen a lot! Being an extrovert and having a naturally outgoing personality, I can talk to God or my husband or a friend for hours. But the challenge, and the key to a healthy vibrant relationship with anyone, is to be still and listen. My ability to listen and then empathize has grown one hundred fold since being married (and also pursuing counseling)! My advice to each of you is to practice this now – to listen and wait upon God, and interact with what He might be telling you. My friendship with God has also taught me how to be selfless in a way I never understood until I entered marriage! God is stretching me so much in these past years to seek the benefit of others over my own, to love others in the way they need to be loved, and to forgive like never before!
What would you say to your sisters in Christ who are experiencing heart ache and longing for marriage?
I would remind you that marriage is not the end goal – there is more beyond. The things that will last are what will exist without or beyond marriage: your relationship with Jesus, your love for and serving others, and your unique God-given gifts. You think your quest for purity ends on the wedding night? By no means! I’m learning what it means to be a pure married woman, in my thought life, in my interactions with men, in my speech, and so much more!
Also, I would tell you this: that man that you’ve asked God about, that man that you believe God would want you to marry, that man you’ve dreamed about – he does exist! Don’t give in or give up when someone second-best comes along. I found this illustration of a guava tree when I was single and in the middle of Africa. In this picture, there were all these ripe guavas within arm’s reach of me on the lower branches, and all I had to do was pluck one and eat it. But these lower-branch guavas were rotten or pocked by hail, or pecked by birds, or infested with ants. But through the trees, way on the highest branches, a dangerous climb upward, I spotted some beautiful, sweet, perfect guavas. I wanted one of those! But was I willing to take the climb, be patient, get leaves in my hair, and pursue the better one? I sure was! Does that make sense? So don’t lower your standards. Don’t talk yourself down or doubt your prayer life or your heart’s cry. That man exists.
During the month of June we will be talking about many of the principles mentioned in the video below. Voddie Baucham shares a COMPELLING and EXCELLENT message.
Are you grateful for your dear friends? Don’t you appreciate those who stand by you to cheer you on to carry out a vision that seems daunting? Well, I sure am grateful for this very special woman we are featuring this month! Dani Taylor served behind the scenes for over a year and a half with the leadership team. She hosted events in her home, spent hours at meetings, donated goods, woke up early to meet with me at a coffee shop before she headed off to work (many times!), and prayed over this ministry. So much of what Beautiful Bricklayers is today has been directly impacted by Dani’s dedication and service.
To put it very simply: I started tracking my cycles before I got married. More than circling the start and end dates of my period on a calendar (I DO NOT recommend the calendar or rhythm method!!!), I tracked two fertility signs every day. I recorded my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) upon waking and observed my cervical fluid (or mucus) throughout the day. The purpose of tracking these signs helped me to become “body literate” and aware of when I was fertile and when I was not.
or engaged, but I want to encourage those of you who are single to have date nights too. When I was single (and was not even getting asked out very often), I would make an effort to get dressed up (heels, makeup, hair, and all) and go to a quaint cafe or oceanside restaurant with my bible and journal and I would call it a God-date. Seriously, I had so much fun and I really felt my worth and my beauty. Even though I usually ordered only a dessert and some tea (I had a tight budget), I engaged with the Lord through the experience. Other times, I would bundle up for a sunset walk along the beach. I listened for the Holy Spirit’s voice to tell me what He thought of me, to confide in me whatever He wanted to say, and I can honestly say that those dates were some of the sweetest ones I’ve
Since we are a community of women, we want to put you, Bricklayers, in the spotlight. Every month we will interview a Bricklayer (either married, single, engaged, or dating) so you can share wisdom and encouragement with one another. This month we interviewed Audrey Milburn: a lovely, radiant woman of God! We hope you enjoy this glimpse into her life.
